Sometimes Perfection can be Perfect Hell.

So as most of you know, I just got home from Ontario, Canada. I went up to visit my love. I had a wonderful time. I don't think its possible to have a bad time when you are around the love of your life. I had a great time, doing... not much. Well, it was a lot but if people were to ask me what I did, it would be a short list. I watched movies, went to a Hockey game (can't go to Canada and not see a Hockey game) and well.... thats it.
But, its all I needed. I had a GREAT time and wouldn't have traded it for anything. I was with the love of my life, the love that I live 2,576 miles from (thanks Google maps) I would have been perfectly happy to just sit next to her all day.
I think when you find your true love, and I hope all of you do if you haven't already, you can spend time doing "nothing" together. It's about the small moments, the moments you spend walking around Wal-Mart, going to the movies together, eating dinner together. Its the small things that make life grand. Meeting the love of my life, is a HUGE thing, but I feel like its held together with the smaller moments. Not every moment can be something big, so you have to have a great time doing the small things.
My love has a great family. I'm always nervous about seeing her family and friends. Because these are people that don't need to like me. But the instant I'm around them I feel at home. Still slightly nervous but, thats to be expected. I don't feel like they HAVE to love me for me and my love to be happy together. But with out there blessings, it would be really difficult. I feel like, I've been accepted, loved. Its a great feeling. Its a great feeling to be loved by people that don't have to love you.

So as great as all that is, as my title implies, its not all so great. Perfection can be perfect Hell. So my great time was cut short, a week is not enough time. Forever may not be enough time when your talking about love. I love this girl more than I ever thought possible. Each time I see her I fall more in love. Which in turn makes it harder and harder to leave her. I no longer have anyone to walk around wal-mart with. Nobody to go see kiddie movies with. Its hard. Beyond words hard. I hope none of you have to feel it. If you do, I feel your pain. It pains me, to see things, feel things, smell things, hear things that remind me of her. The pain eases as time goes on, so in a month this blog may be a little less dramatic. But the pain is still there, that sickening feeling in my stomach, that hole in my heart. These day right after leaving her, I have to keep my mind occupied, if not all I have is my thoughts. And all my thoughts are about her. So, why am I writing about nothing but this? Because, getting it off my chest helps too. I feel like I'm a pretty strong guy, I can make it through it.

As much as I hate the pain, you know what? Its COMPLETELY worth it. She is the greatest thing there is. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for her, nothing I wouldn't give. There is nothing I would do to change how things have turned out. I don't regret anything.


I love you Becky. You are the love of my life.